Monday, January 16, 2012
I am at that transitional stage in life, where I am re-evaluating my purpose. Maybe it’s the fact that my work has become a story of corruption, working tirelessly to line someone else’ coffers. There is something about maturing and wanting to have value. I think it hits all of us, these second stage jitters. We can’t hang out in clubs all night anymore, or chase girls under the guise that we are drunk. We don’t have any excuse to blow money on drinks, nor can we bounce right back from a hangover. Our bodies don’t react as quickly and things we could do very easily, now require stretching and preparation. At this stage we are expected to be ‘doing’ things with our life, supposed to have accumulations of some sort. Yet what starts to happen slowly, like a creeper making its way up a wall, is the lingering feeling of regret, something left undone. It’s an innate human condition, the need to give back or do something that will leave a legacy. That’s the thing that nags, continues to yip at your heels like a puppy in the yard. It doesn’t quite impede your walk, but once in a while the tug at the cuff of your pants is just enough to make you look down. So working in a job that does not feed the nagging feeling is beginning to become cumbersome. It’s not like my resume of deeds is short, nor can I ignore the accomplishments and strides made over the years. However, it is hollowed by the next memo, the next conference call, all of which serve only to prove that, “We the willing, led by the unknowing are willing to do the impossible for the ungrateful, and we have done so much for so little that we are now prepared to do anything for nothing.” – Nurse’ credo. We recently had a family moment where we sat and watched CNN Heroes, people who are out there, changing the world around them, little by little. There was a Ugandan guy that collects the discarded soap from hotels and recycles it for distribution in his homeland. I was touched by not only his inventiveness, but the fact that such a simple gesture goes miles in the scope of changing someone’s life. Who would have thought cleanliness, which can be a national crisis in many a country could be attained by so simple a mechanism. So in 2012, the year I have coined “RE,” I am looking to re-invigorate my own desire to change the world. I want to re-establish the artist in me, and re-affirm my cultural identity. I want to require those around me to respect my boundaries and re-examine their motives. I want to re-connect with meaningful friends and recognize their value. I seek to resign myself to my passion and resolve to be dogged in its pursuit. As a requirement of my labor the by-product of my remuneration will be love. I will re-state my proclamations to reinforce my determination. I won’t be redundant in my riposte; rather they will reverberate with renown. I will not relinquish my power to be relegated to obscurity. I will stand stoic and resolute. I will recommit to God's plan for my life and respond with vigor. I challenge you to RE!