Saturday, December 24, 2011
True meaning of Christmas
My daughter was born in a Boston snowstorm, a few days before Christmas. As inches and inches of snow fell, we had been pushing for close to fifteen hours and she still would not budge. That was over 13 years ago and I can remember every minute, every latent contraction, every hard hand squeeze that woke me out of an exhausted slumber. It is the most vivid memory I have of any experience. Somewhat surreal now, it felt like slow motion back then. So for me, Christmas takes on a whole different tone as we celebrate several birthdays back to back. This year, a had a nephew graduate from college, daughter's birthday and the impending birthday of my biggest star, Jesus. Yet that's not what we keep seeing on television. The retailers have us believing that Christmas is about gift giving. At the office a sheet goes around asking people to sign up for Secret Santa and the amount is $25.00. This is for you to draw a name out of a bag so you can buy a gift for someone you probably do not appreciate. What's most interesting is that in this current economy, folks are still willing to buy into the largesse of retail rhetoric and spend money on things that will be discarded in two weeks. I got signed up for two Secret Santa's and that is already $50.00. None of the people I drew from the pot have $25.00 relationships with me. Consumerism is so easy to stoke, the constant reminders of what we need, what we must have and how they will make great gifts. We are being programmed and are willing accomplices in programming our children. The biggest gift we give our offspring is the imprinted memories of spending money to bring smiles on Christmas morning by tearing through wrapping paper. Tiny tots like little robots screaming and shouting about the very toy they will forget about tomorrow. I have to admit, I love getting stuff, I still have that little kid in me, but I am a big kid now. I love electronic toys but have realized that they become obsolete as soon as I walk out the store. The financially astute will tell you that you should budget for Christmas, put something away each month to ensure that you can line the pockets of Macy's, Kohl's, Best Buy, Target or Walmart. Don't forget the good cheer and spreading of good will. Apparently goodwill is most experienced when you spend your money on things that won't last. Not being a Grinch or anything, but growing up seems to make you focus on the things that are most important. Relationships, friendships, family. So this year I am giving gifts of my time, I don't have much of that left. In fact, in my world, it's probably the most precious thing I can give anyone. This is not a prideful stance nor is it cocky, it's the truth. My time is the most important gift I have. My daughter asks for nothing else but my time and so does my wife. I am realizing that there's really nothing more precious as your days ebb. That how you spend every waking moment is a clear indication of what you hold important.So some time in church will be critical, some food and merriment with family and of course quality time with my girls. I long ago recognized Jesus as the reason for the season. I have added to this understanding, when I am long dead and gone, folks won't remember the tie or sweater I gave them. They won't reminisce about the Sade CD or toolbox I bout Christmas of '97. hat They won't recall what the card said three years ago or whether I ever wore that scarf they gifted me. No, what they will remember are the times we spent together, good or bad. The things that were said and the environment and conditions they were said under. So for now I seek to create the environment and conditions for a great Christmas and none of those involves standing in long lines at so called 70% sales that seem to go on all year buying gifts that will end up being returned or placed on the -"How could they buy that?"- for me pile.